Wrapped around your finger
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: [In progress - Ch. 9 finally done] Hiro finally can't stand it anymore and finally tells Shuichi how he feels about him...only, was it such a good idea? (Do you pick your best friend, your lover, or your idol?)
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Gravi isn't mine. And 'Linger' is by the Cranberries.  
  
Wrapped around your finger  
By Miyamoto Yui  
  
  
Prologue – "…if I do."  
  
  
When I was regaining consciousness, I found it so hard to breathe because it was like something was pushing on my stomach. As I opened my eyes, I found Shuichi sleeping happily on top of me with his hands in fists…  
…and unfortunately drooling on my shirt.  
This should have been wrong, but it didn't feel like it was. The dark green blanket over us was as familiar a scene to me as with seeing Shuichi's eyes closed out of exhaustion from band practice.   
His head was on my chest and my arm was around his back. I looked at him and and turned away in shame. It was kind of dumb. We didn't do anything at all. This was just how comfortable we were with one another.   
I sighed as I watched him breathe heavily. "You baka," I whispered as I patted his back to comfort him even though he wasn't awake to really feel it at all.  
"What will I ever do with you?" I asked the unconscious Shuichi who just stirred as his fists became slightly tighter.  
  
You can't run to me forever, Shuichi.  
Even though I want you to. You know I wouldn't really mind it at all.  
  
As if he heard my thoughts, he began to talk aloud in his sleep. "Demo, demo…Boku wa…anta…ga…suki."  
  
I felt short-changed, Shuichi. I know I should be used to this whole thing, but I can't stand it anymore. The more I see what's happening, the more I just want to scream at you for being so naïve.  
I know you're just being you, but how can I tell you that this isn't good for you? This isn't good for me either.  
In the end, you will have to choose.  
  
Even though you don't want to think about it, I know it's in the back of your mind. That nagging feeling that gets you into mini slumps that keeps you quiet for a few minutes. Even though you deny it, I will always know…  
  
  
Ring, ring! Ring, ring!  
I dried my hair with a towel and answered the phone. "Hello?"  
"Hiro…"   
My heart skipped a beat in fear of his serious, low tone. I stopped drying my hair as I said, "Shuichi?"  
"Hiro…please come get me," he pleaded.  
Without questions, I just dropped my towel and said, "Where are you?"  
"In front of the studio."  
"I'll be right there."  
I grabbed a shirt and my helmet and ran to my motorcycle. I sighed as I gripped the handle wondering what had happened. He was as serious as that time…with Ask…  
I pulled on the handle and zoomed even faster even though it had started to sprinkle in the middle of the night.  
By the time I got there, it was raining hard and so I was a little bit later than I wanted to arrive. Shuichi stood alone like a lonely little kid with his yellow hooded sweatshirt and red sneakers.  
He pouted at me with a big lip as he wrapped his arms around my neck. "Hiro!"  
I hugged him as the rain poured even harder. "What the hell are you doing here in the middle of the night?!"  
At that moment, Shuichi let go of me. Taking one step back, he then took off his hood under the lamppost as his eyes averted themselves to the ground.   
"Shuichi…" I said unable to say anything else.  
  
His right cheek was black and blue under his jawline…  
  
It took a second or two to register inside my head as my eyes became smaller and smaller. "Who did this to you, Shuichi?"  
Shuichi shrugged and hugged me again. "Hiro take me home to your place. I'm sorry I called you out here."  
"Shuichi, you are twenty-years-old. Trying to change the subject will not help you now," I harshly scolded. "Now tell me. Who did this to you?!"  
But he wouldn't say anything as he shook his head.   
"Did Yuki do this to you, Shuichi?! TELL ME." I was getting impatient as my shaking hand found itself on his back. I sighed as I rubbed his wet back.  
He didn't do anything as he held me tighter not even being able to cry.  
I opened my eyes wide as his grip loosened and he was falling. I caught him just as he was about to hit the ground.  
Leaving my bike there for an expected violation the next morning, instead of thinking logically, I let my feelings take over.   
  
I carried him in my arms while running through the streets of Tokyo. I don't know how I did it, but I did…  
  
And so, here I am staring at Shuichi wearing my gray sweatshirt…  
…with a mark on his face that gets me so angry I could burn someone with a single touch from that anger.  
But I know Shuichi more than anyone will ever know. With a single glance at him, I know his emotions, whether or not he'd like to acknowledge them.  
  
So, he doesn't have to tell me what had happened.  
  
  
He was mine before he ever met you, Yuki.  
  
I let him do as he wished, but I won't stand it anymore.  
  
  
Later that morning, I lifted up my coffee cup to my lips and drank the warm black liquid as Shuichi rubbed eyes. I pushed my cup towards him as he took it into his hands. My eyes couldn't face him as I my braid felt so tight and my hands clenched in my jean pockets.  
I asked, "Shuichi, we have to talk."  
He took a sip of the coffee and nodded his head slowly. "Yes, Hiro?"  
"I'm not going to beat around the bush. So, I'm just going to say this all in one go."  
Closing my eyes, I then looked at him straight in the eye. "I'm not going to repeat this again, so please pay attention."  
Shuichi placed the cup on the table next to him as he looked to the ground. "Okay…"  
"Stop coming here."  
  
His head darted up as he stared incredulously at me. "Why? Did I do something wrong?"  
"Yes," I honestly answered back.  
He didn't say anything.  
"I want this to stop." In slight cowardice, I turned around unable to look at him straight in the face. Gripping my hands and trying not to cry, I seriously say, "I don't like being your toy anymore, Shuichi."  
"Toy? But Hiro I don't under-"  
I turned around as I grabbed his shoulders with my hands gently. "I'm your best friend. I know that very well. But I can't be quiet anymore. Whenever you fight with Yuki, you come to me. And then, I'll have to give you back again because you'll feel better later."  
"And I really do appreciate it-"  
I closed my eyes in frustration trying to make him understand me. Then, I placed my hands on his cheeks softly so that I wouldn't push against his wound. "No, Shuichi. What I'm trying to say is that…"  
"Yes, Hiro?" His eyes intensely looked back at me and I almost lost my train of thought as I looked at him in confusion.  
"I don't want to give you back this time," I said with much determination in my voice.   
I grabbed onto his sleeves and felt like I couldn't breathe. I calmly looked at him through my inner chaos as a song kept on repeating in my head:  
  
"You know I'm such a fool for you,  
You've got me wrapped around your finger.  
Do you have to let it linger?  
Do you have to? Do you have to? Do you have to  
Let it linger?"  
  
I then said, "It'll kill me this time if I do."  
  
  
  
--  
Author's note: This was just a spur of the moment. And as with it being one of the 90th fics I've ever made…expect a really bad plot twist…  
But, right now, as with all my fics in progress, I'll be late in updating due to school and work. 


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Gravi isn't mine. Clamp owns Tokyo Babylon. And the Cranberries are the ones that sing 'Linger'.  
  
Wrapped around your finger  
By miyamoto yui  
  
/Hmm...Hmm...Hmm  
If you, if you could return  
Don't let it burn  
Don't let it fade  
I'm sure I'm not that rude  
But it's just your attitude  
It's tearing me apart  
It's ruining everything/  
  
  
Chapter 1 - Won't you catch me?  
[Hiro]  
  
Realizing what I had done on impulse, I immediately let go. I was disappointed at myself for losing my nerve.  
  
Shuichi stepped away and smiled uncertainly back at me. His lips curved, but were quivering in confusion. It was the same look he gave me when I told him, "Let's make a band. You and me."  
I didn't know if he really understood what I meant.  
  
Or rather, did he avoid it all together?   
  
Then again, this was Shuichi. He was as unpredictable as the weather. I always seemed to wear a raincoat whether or not I needed it for the sudden showers of tears that would ensue whenever he felt like nothing made sense in the world. Even at twenty-years-old, he looked like a little kid who had been left alone in their room.  
  
The more I looked at his cheek, the more my chest burned with anger. Silent anger. The kind that got me into self-contemplation and depression because I always bottled it up inside.  
"Do you understand what I'm saying to you, Shuichi?"  
  
Shuichi shook his head while looking at the floor. I couldn't read his face.  
He wouldn't let me read it.  
  
"Why would you say that Hiro?" He then reached out to me and I closed my eyes trying to not reach out to his soft hand. The one that I had held in the dark when we got lost one time.  
"Tell me why do you have a bruise on your cheek. I asked you first. You answer me first." I sighed in frustration trying not to betray my calmness that was slowly leaving my body and being replaced by something that was more than annoyance.   
  
Silence.  
  
"Now you can't even tell me…" I walked over to the balcony and opened the sliding door to step through the threshold. Taking out a cigarette, I leaned my arms on the railing. "Since when did you start keeping secrets from me?"  
  
I looked up at the gray sky and puffed.  
  
I turned around to find Shuichi holding onto the sliding door and looking at me with a vulnerable expression that I had never seen in his eyes. "Why are you mad at me?" his eyes screamed out to me.  
  
Looking at me, he finally whispered, "It was an accident. I asked him to throw a book from the shelf next to him. He threw the book at me and missed my hands. It was because he had to leave for his flight this evening. I couldn't go because there would be too many people rushing towards me. I did that last time, remember?"  
  
"Then why keep so quiet? It's as simple as that to explain." I puffed again.  
  
"Because you'd get mad at me again." But he blinked at with innocent eyes. They had no idea of the implication that I had proposed to him.   
  
It was true though. I was upset with him last time.  
  
I sighed as I put out the cigarette and took a pinch of the shirt while pulling him close to me. "You baka. Why do you always make me worry?"  
  
Shuichi just stood there not doing anything. I was amazed at our role reversal. Usually he was the one who was showing me affection.  
"Why wasn't it you, Hiro?"  
  
I opened my eyes in amazement at such a question. One that I had never expected to be coming from his lips.  
At that moment, he lifted up his hands and hit my chest. "Why do you always call me baka?! Why didn't you do anything?!"  
  
"You can't blame me. I let you do what you want to do, Shuichi. Remember that. And even when I tell you not to, if you want to do it, you'll do it."  
  
"I can't do this anymore." He sighed.  
  
"Do what?" I put out the cigarette in an ashtray.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
I tilted my head in confusion. "Shuichi, I think this is one thing you have to explain to me. Don't you understand what you're feeling?  
  
Shuichi clung onto me and pressed his cheek closer to mine. The one with the bruise that he closed his eyes in pain with tears trickling down his face.  
  
"Hey hey…no crying…" I protested as I tried not show him how unhappy he made me whenever he cried. I always wanted to kill someone…the bearer of his unhappiness.  
It was also through his cries that I knew his frustration was within himself. He didn't know what to do.  
He had matured in two years. As a band member, as a lover, and as a person. But there was a thing to Shuichi that Yuki and I both liked: his innocence.  
  
And how we both wanted to protect it in our own way.  
But was that so selfish?  
  
"Let's go out," I said as I patted his head while winking my eye.   
  
Shuichi rubbed the back of his hand on his eyes and stared blankly at me with distant eyes. "Mm. Ii yo."  
As I closed the door to my apartment, I turned the key and glanced at him. He was still frowning and I sighed in response to this downward curve of his lips.  
I then put my hands on his shoulders. Taking his chin in between my fingers, I nodded as I stared straight into his eyes.  
  
Ones that were about to cry. Again.  
Over and over…  
I…can't stand for this…  
  
This was the Shuichi I could never touch. Through these eyes, I saw how deep I could not reach no matter what I did.  
The love he had given with all of his heart with all the happiness and pain that came with it.   
  
You did choose your fate, Shuichi.  
  
Smiling, I had to keep my face up. "What would you like to do today, Shuichi?"  
"I have to go back to the studio for solo recordings."  
  
I nodded. "Ah…"  
  
I had almost forgotten Bad Luck was taking a year off. Why? The need to relax for a bit.   
To be normal people even if we couldn't be like truly ordinary people on the street anymore.  
  
"Well, I'll take you out for breakfast then," I said as we started to walk. I put my hands in my pockets as Shuichi looked at the ground still disillusioned.  
  
I knew he was thinking about what I had said. As for him understanding that, I didn't know how he would take it.  
But I'd have to let him figure that one for himself.  
  
As we were walking on the street, I poked Shuichi on the forehead.  
"Nani?"  
I lifted up my chin and grinned. "Let's go to Ueno Park."  
"Eh?! We can't do that!"   
I laughed as I watched the Shuichi I had known changing from someone who was late for everything to someone who got upset at being late for anything.  
"Ah. So, you have no faith in me?" I lifted up an eyebrow.  
He nodded. "Of course I do!"  
"Then trust me."  
Smiling, he shook his head. "Remember the last time you took me there?"  
"And you ran to the cherry blossom pile that a child had left behind?"  
He started to laugh. "It was so fun though!"  
"You were sixteen years old, Shuichi. And you hurt yourself. Badly."  
"I want to be a kid again."   
  
I stopped walking as my eyes opened slightly. "W-why would you say something like that? You're always a kid at heart!"  
  
"Really, Hiro?" He then walked faster in front of me.   
  
Unpredictability had set in and my heart began to beat faster and faster. He started to play a game with me on the sidewalk. As I walked up to catch him, he walked faster and faster to get away from me.  
"Shuichi…" I started to say, annoyed a bit.  
"Come on Hiro!" He called out in front of me with his hands over his mouth to amplify his shouting. With a blink of an eye, I saw him wipe a tear. "Won't you catch me?! Won't you catch me, Hiro?!"  
  
My mouth opened a bit as I ran after him. But he started to run faster and faster away from me. "Shuichi!!!" I shouted from behind. "Don't run so fast or else you'll bump into someone!!"  
  
But he didn't listen to me. He kept on running faster and faster. Shuichi was getting further and further away from me.   
  
You won't beat me so easily.  
  
I ran even faster.  
  
Who do you think you are?  
  
Huff, puff, huff…  
  
Where do you think you are going?  
  
Ache, ache, ache…  
  
You can't leave me…  
  
I reached out my hand to him.  
  
…because I can't seem to leave you.  
The darkness I reach for…I loved it from the first time you smiled at me.  
  
Catch.   
GRAB.  
  
"You idiot!!!" I screamed in a cold tone that made him shake.   
The wind blew as a car zoomed through with no sign of remorse for the person it almost killed.  
Shuichi stood there frozen at the street corner with his head down as I grabbed him from behind.  
  
Whoosh, whoosh.  
  
People stared at us, but I didn't care this time. I would be the one that Shuichi would question this time 'round.  
  
"I caught you," I whispered into his ear.  
  
But it was then that the light changed and I let go. I thought he was walking forward, but he turned around and looked at me with hurt eyes.  
Angered at why I had stopped him, whether or not what he was doing was intentional.  
  
He then avoided my gaze and looked at something else. He started to run across the street and I saw that he was aiming for some food vendor.   
  
But the light was turning red!!  
  
"SHUICHI!"  
  
At that moment, as a car was approaching, I ran instinctively to him and pushed him with all my strength, unable to grab him and save myself.  
  
In a blink of an eye, I watched the car hit me and I flew a bit until I skidded back onto the cement-paved street.   
Click.  
I closed my eyes as I felt myself hit the ground, but things were registering in sounds.  
  
Shuichi's scream.   
The car driving away…  
  
When I slightly opened my blurry eyes, Shuichi was running towards me. Reaching out to me, he shouted my name, "Hiro!"  
  
Closing my eyes just as quickly, my hand twitched wanting to reach for him and say, "You dummy. Don't get into more trouble."  
  
I could only hear his screaming of my name as whispers…  
  
I felt like I was in a manga I had read a long time ago. It was about a boy who lost his innocence and shattered himself in the process. And it was also about the man that had killed his twin sister in the process of destroying that innocence.  
I think I had gone too far by telling him too much about what I felt…  
I felt like both of them at the same time. These characters name Subaru and Seishirou…  
  
"I caught you, Shuichi…" I whispered weakly to myself as I slipped into unconsciousness.  
  
  
Tsuzuku…  
  
--  
Author's note: Tasqiah Julianti. You probably thought I forgot about this, didn't you? If there's one thing that anyone knows about me is: I don't forget, whether or not I should. So, thank you for letting me take your fic challenge months later and use it for one of my favorite pairings. 'Sides, I am disappointed that you don't write as many fics as you would like to because I always always ALWAYS enjoyed reading your fanfics. * smiles * I have them all stored in my e-mail for my perusal.  
But you guys, I have to tell you again and again thank you for your encouragement!!! And so, I'm going to say here that this fic is going to be just as angsty, but with twists and turns that I hope to develop better, but running in pace with 'Aching Desire'. I'm stuck on AD…  
  
Ii yo – okay; that's good. 


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Gravitation isn't Yui's.  
  
Wrapped around your finger  
By miyamoto yui  
  
  
/Temptation  
So sweet upon my lips  
Temptation  
I want you to make me  
Sin./  
  
  
Chapter 2 – Forgive me.  
[Ryuichi]  
  
  
I had rushed over to find Shuichi incessantly crying in front of Hiro, who was all bandaged up on the hospital bed. I pointed my eyes downward as Touma put an arm around me and pulled to one side.  
"Ossu," he softly said as his words sent a chill down my spine.  
Whenever he spoke to my ear, it always tickled me. I guess this feeling inside of me had never gone away.  
As for Touma knowing that, I didn't know. I was pretty good at pissing him off…and I was good at reading him.  
  
I used to be the one who kissed those lips. Not Mika-san.   
Ore.  
  
"Hello…" I distantly said not really knowing how to act in this situation. The only time I had ever freaked out in my life was when Touma had gotten sick and I was nowhere around.  
I came the next day rushing to his bedside only to find out that I had been too late. Mika-san had been there to comfort him.  
  
I still regretted that.  
  
"Sakuma-san~!" Shuichi then came over to me before I could ask anything more from the calm Touma. Shuichi started to cry on me as if I were Hiro.  
Only, I wasn't.  
  
I wasn't his best friend.  
I was just his friend. The person he had idolized all these years.  
  
At that moment, Shuichi pulled on my shirt and looked around to find K was shining his gun while sitting in a chair. Sakano was…well…freaking out. He had to be forced to sit down in one corner.  
Fujisaki was sitting next to Hiro's bedside as calm as he could be, but with a face as white as if he had seen a ghost. His professional air had left him for the time being.  
And all was left was a worrywart who could do nothing but sit silent in a chair next to his friend's bed. He kept on sighing as much as Shuichi was crying on my shirt.  
  
I patted the Kumagorou in my pocket and decided not to bring him out today. He might have been too genki for this bunch.  
I looked at Hiro who was living on a machine that looked like an octopus was wrapped around his body with all the wires sticking through his veins.  
  
Shuichi's knuckles began to turn white and my shirt was becoming wetter and wetter by the seconds. I sighed as I looked down at the pink-haired singer of Bad Luck in front of me.  
I patted his head and nodded my own.   
  
All that could come out from my shock as I watched Hiro and Shuichi was, "Where is Yuki-san?"  
  
"He's out on a book tour right now. If we even attempt to take him out of it, the publishers will be really nasty about it," Touma answered bitterly.  
  
Yes, I had become accustomed to his voice whenever it came to this person named Yuki Eiri.  
I could never win that type of affection from him.  
  
A few hours later, everyone was leaving. They couldn't do anything anyway and so they just nodded their heads and left.  
Everyone except Shuichi and Fujisaki of course.  
  
I stood at the doorway not really knowing what to do. Instead, I walked up next to Shuichi and plopped Kumogorou on his lap.   
"Will you come home with Ryuichi, Shuichi-kun?" Kumogorou asked as his head looked up to Shuichi.  
I looked at Shuichi's profile wondering if this was such a good idea. It just felt like the time to ask.  
  
I mean, I had been here for how many hours to find Shuichi not functioning well. He couldn't even hold a cup of coffee right. And Fujisaki wasn't helping by always looking like he was going to cry; unable to move from his chair without looking at Hiro while sighing deeply.  
  
"I don't think you should be alone tonight," I offered as I messed with his pink head.  
Shuichi's tears dropped as he looked up at me. "Is it okay with you?"  
I nodded with a soft smile. "Hai."  
"Okay," he answered finally.  
  
We said goodbye to Fujisaki, but I didn't think he heard us at all. I pushed Shuichi's shoulder so that he would finally leave the room. But as I looked back to see Fujisaki and Hiro, as the door was closing, Fujisaki finally laid his head on the white blanket of Hiro's bed while clinging onto the edge.  
  
Close.  
  
We went to my car and Shuichi slumped into his seat while I placed my hands firmly on the wheel. Turning on the ignition, I stole a glance and threw Kumogorou at him. "He's comforting to hug."  
Shuichi looked down at the bunny in front of him and began to cry again. As he hugged it, he began to sob and all I could do was drive.  
  
"Hiro…" he mumbled to himself.  
  
And I wondered how did this all happen. But I didn't want to ask if it meant that I would make Shuichi cry all over again.  
  
As we drove with Shuichi sniffing next to me, I gave him a Kleenex box and kept my eyes on the road.  
I guess I was kind of mad at Yuki a bit. Here was his lover sitting next to me bawling his eyes out because his best friend is in critical condition and he's not even here?  
Maybe I thought too much.  
  
I stopped wondering and turned on the radio.   
Gotta get his mind off Hiro for a moment.  
  
I began to sing along with the song. And Shuichi began singing too.  
After a few minutes, he was smiling a little and I knew I had been successful.  
  
We pulled into my driveway and got out of the car. As we went through the front door, I closed it behind me and threw my coat on the couch.  
Shuichi looked around my house and glanced at the rooms as we passed some.   
Pointing into one, I announced, "This is where you'll be staying today."  
"I don't have any clothes," he said.  
  
It was then that I noticed the blood on his shirt. How unfazed he was. To the point that he had tugged on it as he looked down at his chest almost not wanting to take it off at all.  
  
"Don't worry about it. I think we're the same size," I comforted him. Smiling, I went to my room and came back a few minutes later with sweats and a t-shirt that said, "Bad Luck."  
Shuichi laughed at the design saying, "You collect this kind of stuff?"  
"Well, yes, because you're the reason why I wanted to do Nittle Grasper again," I answered honestly while scratching the back of my head in embarrassment.  
  
Shuichi blinked at me. "Hounto ni?"  
  
I looked at him and at his eyes. I was lost for a moment through my embarrassment at the truth I just blurted out and looked at him. I only snapped out of it because he said, "We were the reason."  
  
I nodded my head to comply.  
  
Handing over the clothes to him, I asked, "Are you hungry?"  
But without even an answer, I just turned around and pulled him towards the direction of the kitchen.  
  
**  
  
After dinner, I took a bath. The warm water felt really good and so I stayed there for a while.  
When I was done, I just put on some pants and placed a white towel on my head. Walking barefoot around my bedroom, I decided to walk over to the balcony.  
  
Unfortunately, it has begun to rain again.  
  
As I was about to turn around, I saw Shuichi below me looking up at the cloudy sky with all the rain hitting his body.  
Hadn't he just taken a shower?  
  
Being crazy as he had always been, I knew he just wanted to cry with the rain. Patting his tear-strained cheeks with his wet hands, I tilted my head a little.  
  
  
How…beautiful…  
  
  
And I began to think of things that I should have.   
I shook my head but it didn't help any.  
  
The light showed his lanky body through the white shirt I had given him and the sweats clasped onto his legs as if there were no air…  
  
"Shuichi-kun!" I shouted from above. "Come inside or else you'll catch a cold!"  
  
He shook his head.  
"I already have one!"  
  
I hit my palm against my forehead. "Then come in or else!"  
  
Shuichi finally nodded his head in defeat and came back into the house. I walked down and handed him my towel to him.  
As he takes it from my head, I grasped his left wrist.  
  
There's that look in his eye that I always hated: that lost look.  
  
The one I secret wore whenever I thought of Touma.  
  
"Sakuma-san…" Shuichi whispered as he looked at me with confusion in his eyes.  
  
I shook my head to fend off my feelings and begin to wipe his hair. But then, he looked like he's going to cry again.  
"Why?" I had wanted to say, but before I had the courage to, he told me, "Hiro used to do this for me."  
  
I blinked at him and instead of using a towel to do wipe his hair, I placed the towel on his shoulders. With my clean hands, I ran my fingers through his hair and tried to wring the water out.  
  
The rainwater just dripped to the floor and onto his already-wet clothes.  
  
  
I can't stand it.  
  
"Shuichi-kun…" My eyes become a little bit smaller as I whispered into his ear.  
"Hai?" he innocently asked me.  
"Don't give me that look…"  
"What look, Sakuma-" Then, he stops talking as my hands pulled off the towel on his shoulders and I began to kiss the nape of his neck.  
  
"Sa-sakuma-s-san?" His body tensed up.  
  
I then took his head between my hands and looked at him straight in the eye. "Have you ever heard of someone called King David?"  
He shook his head as his worried face looked back into my eyes.  
  
"He was blinded by beauty one day. And you know what happened after that?"  
"No."  
"He consumed beauty itself despite what he knew was right. He picked his feelings over everything else."  
  
I began to take his wrists and pushed them softly to each side of his face as his back leaned on the white wall.  
"But what has this got to do with me, Sakuma-san?" his distraught face watched me, and yet he was not resisting me at all.  
  
As I pressed my warm body onto his cold one, I whispered to his ear with my eyes closed, "Forgive me, Shuichi."  
"For what?" His eyes closed as his hands grabbed onto my own.  
  
I began to undress him and myself…  
  
"I'm giving into my temptation," I replied, almost sadly.  
  
  
You were the reason I sang again, Shuichi.  
Your energy and passion equaled my own so I knew that you also felt the same about music.  
  
And no one or nothing was going to take that away from you…  
Not even in your sadness at the moment.  
  
I know that I can take care of you, Shuichi…  
  
  
Then, I licked the tear that ran down his cheek and kissed his mouth until we both couldn't breathe…  
  
Shuichi gripped my hands harder as I pushed myself onto his beautiful body that night as the rain fell violent to the ground…  
  
  
Tsuzuku…  
--  
Author's note: Damn, I stopped breathing. This was so intense for me. A serious Ryuichi is a damn kawaii. Well here is some of what you wanted! This chapter is dedicated partly to you RavenDark-san since you asked for some Ryu x Shu action.  
And damn, all this time, I thought, "I can't do this pairing! They're like brothers!"   
Then, here I go and do this. I'm…kind of convinced that this could possibly happen. ^^;;;; whoa.  
  
Hope you enjoyed this so far! 


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Gravi isn't Yui's. It's Maki Murakami-sama's. All poems are mine (like temptation in the last chapter). ^^v  
  
Wrapped around your finger  
By miyamoto yui  
  
/How can I reach for you…  
when you're reaching for someone else?/  
  
  
Chapter 3 – In the dark.  
  
"No…No, no, no…"  
  
Tight squeeze.  
  
I could feel warmness somewhere in this dark abyss that surrounded me. I could see nothing but black.  
I wasn't even a being.  
  
What I meant was that I knew I was there, but then it also seemed like I couldn't be.  
  
I kept on hearing a voice.  
A soft one that almost hesitated to cry.  
  
Shuichi?  
Was that you?  
  
What's happening here?  
I know I was looking around, but then I couldn't really see anything. I couldn't touch anything tangible.  
  
It disturbed me.  
My calmness was leaving me unsteadily like drips of water from a leaky faucet.  
  
  
"Hiroshi…you have to survive," the voice said seriously while sobbing a bit.  
  
That voice isn't Shuichi's…  
It's Suguru.  
  
Suguru? Why are you crying?  
  
And why…  
Dammit why can't I see anything?!  
  
But I can feel your warmth from somewhere and it's comforting me.  
Now, just where are you? I can hear you clearly, but where are you?!  
  
"I know this isn't the place or the time, but…please…"  
  
He's squeezing my hand…  
  
What happened to me?!  
I was so confused.  
  
And all I could do was listen.  
  
"I wasn't supposed to stay here. I'm glad the nurse was kind enough to let me spend the night here."  
  
Here?  
  
"I wanted to be near you."  
  
Why?  
  
"It's nice to have it quiet sometimes. To make yourself think more clearly. But I just can't stand it sitting here knowing you might not be here the next day."  
  
WHAT THE HELL?  
  
"I don't pray at all. My cousin had always told me to make my own luck…but I'm praying for you to survive, Hiro. And when you do, I won't ask for anything else ever again."  
  
How can I respond back to you?  
I want to tell you something to comfort you and tell you that I'm here.  
  
Alive…somewhere.  
  
"Even though I know you hide your love Shuichi…"  
  
Eh?  
Was I that obvious?  
  
"…I couldn't help it Hiro."  
  
Help it…  
  
Sobbing.  
  
Squeeze.  
  
"I know it's not the time or the place, but I had to tell you before I drive myself crazy with worry. That I'm going to regret never telling you anything."  
  
Pat, pat…  
  
I felt that…  
He's touching my head…  
And stroking my hair…  
  
"Please come back, Hiro. I know you can hear me."  
  
Then, I began to open my eyes with a blurry sight before me.   
His green hair…  
  
Suguru then hugged me. Warmly, he whispered to my ear,   
"I love you, Hiro."  
  
You do?  
My eyes opened a little but everything was still so blurry.  
And I became incredibly sleepy again.  
  
Before I went back into unconsciousness, I wanted to put my hand over his back.  
But I couldn't.  
  
Have I been that blind for you, Shuichi?  
I know I have been…  
  
And even if I could respond…  
What would…or could I do for you, Suguru?  
  
I wouldn't know how to answer you.  
  
Until all became silent once more,  
All I could do was listen carefully and painfully.  
  
  
Tsuzuku.  
--  
Author's note: Ooh. Omoshiroi!  
How very interesting isn't it? I know I'm being cruel…but I really wanted to see how the balance of Gravi breaks. And does it mend itself justly? 


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Gravitation is by Maki Murakami-sama. 'Simple and Clean' is by Utada Hikaru. (I'm so in love with this song…)  
  
  
Wrapped around your finger  
By miyamoto yui  
  
  
/"Hold me   
Whatever lies beyond this morning  
Is a little later on  
Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all  
Nothing's like before"/  
  
Chapter 4 – honesty.  
  
  
(Ryuichi)  
  
As I took a deep breath, my chest still touched the bare back of Shuichi. My hands enveloped themselves on each side of his as he bent his head down in tiredness.   
The only sounds that could be heard were our shortened breaths as I kissed his neck while he winced as I entered his body one more time. Then, I let go as he turned around and laid on the bed below me.   
My hands began to intertwine with his once more as I leaned forward to kiss his hair as I sang to him the words that I would have never said until tonight:   
  
"When you walk away   
You don't hear me say please  
Oh baby, don't go   
Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight  
It's hard to let it go."  
  
There was no other way to say it to him, except to sing. That was the only way we connected without anyone really understanding what our passions and our love were. We were on our own world when it came to these things.  
  
As I kissed his sweaty forehead, his eyes blinked as I looked down at him. "Ryuichi…"  
  
Then, his head turned away shamefully from me.  
  
I tilted my head knowing full well what he would say to me. "What's wrong?"   
  
My fingers ran through his hair as I cupped my hand on his cheek to face me once again.  
  
His eyes looked deeply at me as he answered, "This is wrong."   
  
That was the time that I put my head down as I repositioned myself with my knees touching each side of his hips. I couldn't look at him and common sense was coming back.  
  
How stupid I had been…  
  
This wasn't the way I should have saved him…to preserve his love…  
He belonged to someone else.  
  
Not to me.  
I only captured his heart when it came to music.  
  
My heart beat faster and faster as I found myself looking at Shuichi who wouldn't even turn to me now.  
"How can I tell you that you're the reason, Shuichi?" I mumbled quietly, wanting him to half hear me and half not.  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked as his confused eyes looked up to me once more.  
  
"You're the reason why there's a Nittle Grasper again." I gave him a melancholic smile as I said, "Why I enjoy singing even more…"  
  
His eyes opened a bit in shock.  
  
  
Then, I leaned forward to kiss him again on the lips as he accepted my mouth.   
Confusion was plaguing me, and yet I couldn't help but let my temptation get the best of me.  
  
I know this is wrong, but there's nothing I can do…  
  
  
At that moment, I let go as he got off the bed and changed silently in front of me. I also got up from the messy bed and began to change; but I watched him as he buttoned my shirt, since he had no other clothes.  
  
It's awful to think that I was proud that my scent was on Shuichi Shindou…  
When he wasn't even mine…  
  
I…have gone to far…  
I shouldn't have give in to myself..  
  
"I'm going to Hiro," he said as he turned around to leave. "He needs me."  
  
I need you too. My eyes didn't betray the hurt that I held, but couldn't even begin to tell him.  
  
"You'll understand someday why I did this, Shuichi," I said as he was crossing the threshold.  
He stopped walking to stand and listen to me talk.  
  
I continued calmly, "There will be someone who will love something as much as you do. And you don't want them to lose that spark because that's what makes them, them."  
  
I then walked up to him and took a hold of his shoulders to turn him around to face me. "That's your charm, Shuichi. Sadness shouldn't touch your face."  
  
"It's funny that you say that because I loved your songs because they were bittersweet."   
  
Then, he took a step back away from me. He was fighting me as best as he could.   
And that was fine, for if he didn't, I wouldn't have let him go…  
  
"Don't tell me that you never fell in love with me at one time, Shuichi…" I desparately asked with a firm tone in my voice to camouflage what I was really thinking.  
  
"I won't then." He turned around as his hands became fists. "I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a time. After all, you're the one that changed my life."  
  
With the confidence that I never really had when it came to love, it finally came out. Seriously, I said behind him, "I'd be lying to say that I didn't love you, Shuichi."  
  
Why must you be so blunt, Ryuichi?  
I can't help these things when they overflow…  
  
  
"There's someone else who loves you, Ryuichi…" Shuichi said and then he walked away from me.  
  
"I haven't found that person yet." I shook my head a bit as I sighed while I followed him a few feet away. "I thought it would be you."  
  
Shuichi tripped as he grabbed for the knob of the front door to keep his composure as best as he could. "You flatter me too much."  
Then, he shook his head trying not to cry as he looked at me. "He's always looking for you…if only you would open your eyes and then you would know…"  
  
"…Just like I should have with Hiro," he finished as he closed the door behind him with a look of remorse.  
  
With the click of the door, my hand reached out for him as a tear slipped from my cheek without me knowing if it was for myself, him, or both of us.   
  
I sang to myself as my voice echoed in my empty home,  
  
"When you are older, you'll understand  
It's enough when I say so  
And maybe some things are that simple."  
  
  
I scolded myself as I looked at the ceiling,   
  
"But my simple honesty always gets me into trouble…  
That's something that people love about your music, but has made you hate yourself so many times…  
Won't you ever learn, Ryuichi?"  
  
  
  
Tsuzuku…  
--  
Author's note: Whoa, how time flies. I'm sorry that this took a long time, but so many things bogged me down and they're too numerous to list right now. I'm working hard with this fic, but please be patient and I hope you are enjoying it so far.  
Yes, I know there's a slight modification on the song. ^_^ 


	6. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Gravitation belongs to Maki Murakami. Romancing Train is by Move.  
Wrapped around your finger  
By miyamoto yui  
/"Romancing Train,   
Bring all the pain   
Tsukareta sono kokoro wo   
Romancing Train, Whistle again...  
Ai ga koko ni aru koto   
(Bring all the tears and pain right now bring it out)   
Nemuru made mimi moto de sasayaite ite..."/  
Chapter 5 - Kuchibeni. (Lipstick.)  
(Narrator)   
As Shuichi walked back to his own apartment, he grabbed onto the clothes he was wearing. His hands shook and he felt incredibly guilty at what he had done.  
He looked up to the sun that mockingly looked down at him and he ran as fast as he could. When he got home, he closed the door and pushed the knob.  
Again, he grabbed his clothes and began to smell them.  
  
"This is Sakuma Ryuichi's scent..." he mumbled to himself as he lifted his eyes while looking straight at the balcony before him.  
Right then, he took off the sweatshirt and threw it to the wooden floor. He lifted his right arm and smelled himself.  
  
He was enwrapped in Ryuichi's scent.  
  
As he walked to the bath, he shook his head in confusion. He turned on the water, but when he took off his clothes, he almost didn't want to wash it off.  
After all, it was his idol who had reached out for him.  
  
His idol had bared his heart out to him.  
Body and soul intact.  
  
He could still feel Ryuichi's hands over his and the way he embraced him as if those hands were already imprinted all over his body claiming that he was his, and no longer Yuki's.  
  
The awful part of it was that...  
He liked the attention.  
  
As his eyes closed, he opened them widely again. "Hiro..." he mumbled and the tiled bathroom echoed the name of his best friend.  
  
He had to get back to Hiro and quickly. So, even though he was undecided, the only reason he took a bath was to wash away Ryuichi's scent.  
To not make Hiro worry...  
  
"I don't want to give you back this time." Hiro's voice was like a soft melody that comforted him.  
  
For that particular moment, it was true.  
He didn't want to.   
  
But he left the shower door open to splash in puddles onto the bathroom floor. When he turned off the water, he grabbed a towel and looked at the mirror before him. The water dripped down to the drain of the tub.   
The mirror was cloudy and he couldn't see himself. Maybe that was what was best at that moment.  
  
Shuichi sighed and got out of the shower. After dressing up for the recording, he went to the hospital.  
  
As Shuichi was going through the front door of the hospital, Suguru was leaving through the back door. Expecting Shuichi to come back that early in the morning, Suguru left involuntarily because he still wanted to remain by Hiro's side.  
  
He was still unsure about how everyone would take it...  
...especially Shuichi.  
  
And so, he just left.  
  
Certainly, he himself was scared about Hiro expecting Shuichi and he woke up to see him instead. He wouldn't be able to take it.  
  
It didn't help that just a week ago, his cousin had stopped him from leaving his office. Suguru had just raised his hand to say goodbye when his cousin's feathered sleeve distracted him. Touma had stuck his hand out and shook his head. "No, you are not allowed to leave yet."  
  
"No, seriously, I have to go," Suguru smiled as he scratched his head while his green shirt was sticking to his back because it was so hot.  
"I knew I shouldn't have worn jeans. He teased me about that last time," he thought as he stood in the middle of the room with a worried expression.  
Touma turned around and looked out the window and then looked back at him. With a smirk on his face, he asked, "How come you have not said anything to Hiro-san yet?"  
  
Suguru's face fell as his eyes blinked rapidly in disbelief. He couldn't believe that his cousin was asking him this and he was turning red at the question.  
He may have been a professional in the music world, but Suguru was just an ordinary boy when it came to things of the heart.   
  
Trying to get out as soon as possible and not go around the subject because his cousin would tease him further if he did, he answered, "Nothing."  
"Why?" Touma folded his arms as sat on his desk.   
  
Suguru turned around and with a sad voice, he replied, "Because he likes someone else. Very much."  
  
With that, he just left without Touma keeping him any further.   
  
Touma knew too well the pain of that same situation...  
Suguru went home to take a shower and fell asleep on his bed. When he fell back onto his bed, he thought of his words to Hiro.  
"I'm such a coward," he scolded himself as he closed his eyes and fell asleep.  
  
--  
  
Shuichi's heavy eyes wanted to close, but he wouldn't let them. For the first time in a long while, Shuichi looked tired. But his bright smile camouflaged his inner chaos.  
He sat in the chair next to Hiro's bed, the one that Suguru had left just an hour ago.  
  
But on his way to the hospital, Shuichi had received strange looks as he crossed town with a red kimono and his hair pinned back as best as could to look like a geisha's. He didn't wear a wig, so his pink hair shined in the sunlight as people looked at him in amazement and wonder.  
  
Right now, his hair couldn't block his view of Hiro as he felt shame for what he had done and for what he was feeling. But, he kept on smiling as he reached out for Hiro's hand.  
Rubbing his thumb on Hiro's hand, he felt the coldness of his best friend's skin.   
  
"I'm sorry," he mumbled to himself, but he knew he couldn't be heard.  
  
Hiro had been the one to save him...  
Just like always...  
  
Whether it was because he had to go to the studio or that he couldn't stand seeing Hiro as he was, Shuichi got up from his seat. At that moment, he leaned forward with loose strands of his hair touching Hiro's face. Shuichi's other hand ran through Hiro's brown hair to sweep it off his cheeks.  
  
Shuichi then closed his eyes and kissed Hiro on the mouth. As he was taking out a tissue to pat the lipstick away, a tear had fallen on Hiro's lower lip.  
  
He tried to stop crying and his eyes actually listened to him.  
  
At that, he kissed Hiro again. Then, he turned around and held his head up.  
Shuichi wasn't ashamed...  
...and Hiro had the lipstick mark to prove it.  
Tsuzuku...  
--  
Author's note: I had this concept of Shuichi as a geisha. Yes, I'm weird. Hope you're enjoying this as much as I am! ^_^   
  
Translation:  
  
"Romancing Train, Bring all the pain   
  
Tsukareta sono kokoro wo - This tired heart  
  
Romancing Train, Whistle again...  
  
Ai ga koko ni aru koto - Love exists here.  
  
(Bring all the tears and pain right now bring it out)   
  
Nemuru made mimi moto de sasayaite ite..." - From sleep, listening even more carefully to the whispering... 


	7. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Gravitation isn't mine. The poem and the lyrics for 'without' are mine.  
  
Wrapped around your finger  
By miyamoto yui  
  
/I missed you for some time  
Don't you understand me?  
Because...I can't hide anywhere  
Sleepless nights I've spent them alone  
Your warmth turned to coldness.  
Who are we to each other?  
  
I can live without you, but...  
Don't you know?  
I can't live with you?/  
Chapter 6 - Without  
Shuichi then entered the stage within the studio to find it like the famous Yoshiwara. It had the sliding screens with a fan on the ground.  
  
It was like an empty wooden box, pretty much like a smaller size of a Noh stage. He found the cameramen setting up as well as the stage assistants.  
The choreographer had just indicated to him, even in sketch form, that he was supposed to perform a dance that crossed between Kabuki and Noh, yet adding the charm that only he could.  
Shuichi nodded with a smile and lifted up his hand for the full effect of being feminine. The choreographer began to blush as he cleared his throat.  
  
So, there he was assigned to sit in the middle of that box. The make-up artist right then and there went up to him to put touch-ups to his face as he closed his eyes. Instead of lipstick, the make-up artist took out a brush and dipped it in red pain to softly put it on Shuichi's half-faded lips.  
When make-up was done, Shuichi then folded his calves to show his white legs.  
  
Being the way he was, he just let some of the kimono go and fall slightly off his shoulders, almost falling off but not quite. The other people around him, both women and men, blushed at the sexiness emanated by the scene as he kept his head away from the cameras.  
  
Shuichi then touched his index finger to his red lips and turned his head to look at one of the photographers. With half open eyes, he gave a slightly knowing smile as if seducing the fans with his confidence.  
  
The confidence that he had gained when Ryuichi had told him to his ear, "I think you're beautiful, Shuichi."  
Then, his idol had stuck his tongue on his Adam's apple and devoured his neck and had made love to him as if he were his and no one else's.  
Certainly not Yuki Eiri's at that instant...  
  
The guilt was killing him ever so slowly...  
  
Sakano's glasses almost fell off his face as he watched Shuichi. The boy who had wailed two years ago, "I can't write lyrics! I suck at them!"  
  
"Start!" the director was shouting as soon as the photo shoot session was ending and the filming of the music video was to begin...  
  
For days, there was nothing that Shuichi had done except tape that music video. He tried to distract himself though his thoughts were almost always scattered. He tried to smile at everyone, but whenever he was alone, he looked at the geisha or the young boy that didn't quite like himself anymore.  
  
The days spanned to a week and Shuichi found himself sitting on the couch, tired and lonely. He turned on the television to see the music video he had filmed. Though he had seen it with everyone else, it was different to look at himself from a 'fan at home', persay.  
  
The male announcer energetically shouted, "And here's the debut of the latest video by Bad Luck's lead singer, Shindou Shuichi! The song's name is 'Without'!"  
(music video)  
  
Shuichi's head is facing the ground. In a close-up, he then turns with a few loose hairs falling, waiting to touch the ground. His profile faces the camera as his lips parted to sing a soft beat with a guitar for its opening. It was unlike any Bad Luck song, but it had the essence of it written poetically.  
  
His red, red lips whispered,   
"When I think of you,  
there's nothing else in the world.  
But then, you're not there   
for me to focus on.  
  
A memory is all I have.  
Even if you're standing in front of me.  
A memory of how we used to be."  
Shuichi's back is facing the camera and his kimono is falling gracefully. When he starts to really sing the song, the camera takes a fleeting glance at each side profile.  
It goes to his hands, which show his white legs. He rubs softly and impatiently while waiting for someone to come to his window.  
He starts to open his mouth to speak something, but he doesn't anymore. Instead, he sings,   
  
"And when I see,  
The masks between you and me.  
It's a lonely road  
That is just so blind for you and me.  
I kept on listening,  
To the voice that keeps calling  
I kept on searching,  
To find that there was no one really there."  
  
A maple leaf falls through the window and he holds it in the palm of his hands. He holds it and it transforms into a Noh mask in which he's holding it on the ears to not defile it.  
  
While looking at the Noh mask, he sings,   
"The autumn falls  
Like a dewdrop that becomes a tear  
My tired body  
Doesn't want to walk further anymore  
And before I know  
The time has broken my heart  
In silence  
I found myself wearing a mask"  
  
He takes a sideglance and looks at the camera.   
"The one where there's a smile  
To hide that I'm not a child."  
  
His face is wearing a sad smile that looks as if it could be happy. His lips sing along,  
"Every day's difficult. Very much. Very much."  
  
A random child runs to a church and opens the doors to find that a single raven is in the middle.   
  
"The place of sanctuary is vanished  
I kept on shouting out."  
  
The raven turns into a man that walks away coldly from Shuichi, who is reaching out to him through his window. "It's you...it's you...it's you..."  
  
"Tomorrow hurts  
Holding the same things as today, it seems  
And no matter how much I listen carefully."  
  
Shuichi is picking up a glass mirror in his hand.   
  
"I keep on missing  
The feeling that used to reside here."  
  
When he looks at his own reflection, he is surprised and drops it.   
  
"In one instant,  
Things can change so suddenly."  
  
The glass mirror breaks into a million shards and he is trying his best to put it together. He keeps on looking at the mirror because the dawn will come.  
  
"Like dropping the mask  
That I held for so long  
It broke so easily. Like glass, like glass.  
The one I used in order to be with you.  
For if you knew what I really thought  
While dying inside..."  
The moon shines on him and his fingers bleed as he keeps on picking up the pieces of glass. "Love me, Love me..."  
  
He picks up the fan in front of him and starts to do a Noh dance. He's very graceful, but then, he stops to find someone has come to the window.  
  
"Like dropping the mask  
That I held for so long  
It broke so easily. Like glass, like glass.  
In order to be with you...  
For if you knew what I really thought   
While dying inside...  
'Love me-'"  
  
He kneels with the fan to one side. His back is again facing the audience with his kimono falling off. The raven, who is now a man, has returned. He bows his head, but his hand goes on Shuichi's neck and one is pulling seductively on the kimono. His face is finally revealed and it is Sakuma Ryuichi, tilting his head, in sync with Shuichi, as he is about to kiss Shuichi passionately on the neck like a vampire.   
  
"The one where there's a smile  
(It was yours from the start.)  
To hide that I'm not a child  
(Because you treat me like one.)  
Every day's difficult. Very much. Very much.  
(I live and die each day.)  
The place of sanctuary is vanished  
(There is nowhere else to go.)  
I kept on shouting out,  
(For you to finally hear me.)  
"It's you, It's you, It's you..."  
(You are my sanctuary.   
Protect me from myself.)"  
  
In another frame, the wind blows away and there is a raven flying away. Shuichi is looking out of the window with not a fan, but holding a Noh mask in his hands. He puts it on, and there's a close up to his face. Shuichi then pointed downward as a tear fell out of the left eyehole, onto the wooden floor.  
  
He whispers quietly, "Yes...Hitori botchi."  
  
In the last minute, without being planned, Shuichi takes a pin out of his pocket and thrusts into his finger. Blood comes out and as he wipes his tear away, a red drop rolls down the curve of his cheek in a profile shot.  
  
In an even quieter whisper, Shuichi finishes,  
  
"Yes, it's true,  
I am alone...  
  
With or without you."  
(end of video)  
  
Shuichi then hugged the blue pillow that Yuki had given him as he wanted to sink further and further into the couch. Every time he thought about the end, his stomach would churn.   
  
It wasn't out of artistry. It was reality that played at that moment, and certainly not illusion.  
They all thought it was to make the effect more dramatic and were so proud of him.  
  
But he wasn't faking it.  
Shuichi buried his face on the pillow trying to smell Yuki's scent as he finally began to understand what Hiro had said to him only a few days ago.  
  
He began to understand the lyrics of the song that Hiro had composed for him...  
Why he made this song...  
The phone rang, but Shuichi didn't want to hear anything. He ignored it while the television remained on.  
On the other side of the line, Yuki was holding the telephone in his hand. He had just watched the music video and was trying to still get a hold of him.  
  
Yuki looked at his lover's face that has been plastered on the television set.  
  
The smile that he had loved seemed to be so off...  
Yuki rewound the video and watched it again.  
Over and over, he saw the Shuichi that he can't recognize.   
  
Was this the same boy that he had told couldn't make lyrics?  
The same one he had met years ago?  
  
He sat on his hotel bed not knowing what to think or say...  
Tsuzuku...  
  
--  
Author's note: Don't worry! Hiro will be back very soon. I'm just to figure out the time issues with this fic so that it'll make sense to me so that I can convey that to you. Besides, the structure right now is 2 chapters per character. ^^  
As for Shuichi singing, I didn't just want to put a set of words again and tried to simulate a music video. Since it is elusive, you don't know if he's singing to Hiro, Yuki, or Ryuichi. ^^v This was actually a hard chapter to make, but I hope it was okay. ^_^ 


	8. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Gravitation belongs to Maki Murakami-sama and I just love Shuichi, Ryuichi, Hiro and Tatsuha. Is it so wrong to mess with them? ^_^ Maybe. The lyrics are from 'Punch and Judy' by the Cascades.  
  
Wrapped around your finger  
By miyamoto yui  
  
//"I wish I knew why she acts this way  
We're like puppets in a play…  
While I must act a happy fool.  
  
Though I smile, it hurts inside  
Even puppets have some pride."//  
  
Chapter 7 - Ochita okurimono. (The falling present.)  
  
Shuichi had been busy, but was he avoiding him? Why?   
Was it because of the book?  
  
He didn't mean it. He honestly threw it poorly, but would Shuichi really believe that?  
Just the night before, he had refused to sleep with Shuichi because he was too tired and Shuichi was crying thinking that he was tired of him…  
  
"I wonder why he won't answer the phone?" he tried again that late night as he turned off the television.   
But even that wouldn't stop the images of Shuichi within his mind. He knew the entire video because he kept on repeating it, almost cursing himself as if he were his lover looking through his Nittle Grasper collection.  
  
Sakuma Ryuichi.  
  
Why did that name always give him such problems with Shuichi? Not to mention a little jealous at such a trifle matter. No matter what it was, it seemed that he couldn't get to Shuichi whenever it came to Ryuichi. This idol of Japan was an unattainable to Shuichi as his brother longed for the same person.  
Strangely, his mixed feelings made him think of his brother Tatsuha. That boy would stop at nothing whenever it came to Ryuichi. Whether it was just an advertisement for Ryuichi on a music show or other, Tatsuha was sure to have it.  
  
He would stop at nothing. It was his life goal to meet Sakuma Ryuichi…  
…and yet, with all his strength, he didn't allow himself to.  
  
Afraid of rejection by the object of utter affection and undying desire.  
  
Now, Yuki, who had been overconfident until today, saw how close he was feeling like his brother while staring at a changed Shuichi.  
  
Was Shuichi _really_ trying to avoid him? Why?   
Was he still mad at the book?  
  
By now, Yuki knew that this type of thing would upset Shuichi because Shuichi would always blame himself whenever Yuki had a problem and became quiet and irritable.  
  
He just couldn't find himself saying "I'm sorry" to Shuichi. Though he had admitted that he had loved the pink genki ball, he still hadn't gotten to the level of apologizing for his wrong doings. Yuki was just stubborn that way, and they both knew that. He tried to be better about it, but it was not happening any time soon.  
  
Like the wound incurred by that bastard Kitagawa, this trait would still belong to Yuki like a birthmark no matter how he tried to take it out.  
  
At least now, Yuki was feeling guilty.  
  
Shuichi still wouldn't answer the phone. Instead, he finally left a message. "Shuichi. Why won't you answer the phone? I'm finally back in town until I go up north for the second half of the tour. Please call me."  
  
Yuki's tone throughout the message was cruel. He was concerned, but anyone who didn't know him too well wouldn't have known that.  
Would Shuichi be able to read through it if he looked so upset in the video?  
  
Caught between wanting to visit Shuichi and staying in his hotel room, Yuki couldn't let his pride go.  
  
Yet, he could not stop persisting on calling Shuichi. For Shuichi, of all people, felt that showing your love was more than anything. That's what he always wanted and though it was tiring, Yuki had learned to be more expressive about his feelings.  
  
Especially when Yuki had bit his ear and Shuichi turned red with a cat-like grin and purred into Yuki's ear saying, "Ne, Yuki?"  
"Nani?" he said as he took out a cigarette from his pocket and began to light it as he sat on the couch, but decided against it. Shuichi leaned his hand on Yuki's chest while sitting on his lap. He then looked at the cigarette held in mid-air right in front of him with a skeptical look on his face.  
  
"You should stop smoking," he said with a concerned face and in a slightly annoyed tone.  
  
Yuki said nothing while keeping his cigarette unlit.  
  
"You'll watch the music video with me right?" Shuichi had asked while making a circling motion with his finger over Yuki's heart. "We'll watch it together since your book tour will be coming through here for a day or two."  
  
Yuki nodded his head. With a big kiss on his lips, Shuichi laughed and smiled as he said, "You promised Yuki!"  
  
At that moment, Yuki had looked into his lover's eyes wondering why in the world did he fall in love with someone so energetic.   
He looked at his cigarette and at the impatient Shuichi who had made it a campaign to make Yuki stop smoking by offering himself as the next addiction. Not that it was a bad collateral, mind you…  
  
Yuki placed the unlit cigarette back into his packet and let Shuichi drag him into the bedroom while tugging on his sleeve.  
  
Ring, ring.  
  
He got up and began to call again.   
  
It wasn't like Shuichi to forget being together. Not even for a second.  
A deep pain began to inflict his chest as he stared at the phone.  
  
After the sixth time, he gave up and left a message again. "Shuichi, where are you?"  
  
Short and to the point with as much concern as he could possibly give.   
  
Somehow though, it never really reached Shuichi…  
No matter what he did…  
And he was falling into his own demise.  
  
He put down the phone and walked over to the balcony. Taking out a cigarette from his pocket, his open white shirt somewhat swayed in the wind as he crossed his arms over the railing.   
  
His moods may not have swung as much as Shuichi, but if only Shuichi would see how crazy he drove him without even saying a word.  
  
While Yuki was thinking about Shuichi, Ryuichi walked into Nittle Grasper Records. He had been given a key and code by Touma so he had no problem getting in and went into one of the many recording booths.  
He placed a cassette into the main player and sat down on the ground while leaning on one wall with his eyes up at the ceiling.   
  
He certainly didn't want anyone seeing him right now. No, he wanted to be completely alone. It was something as familiar as the darkness to him.  
  
It hurt, but he had no choice.  
  
Being genki was a part of him that he couldn't control. It was the façade that was a part of him and yet not so. It was natural and yet it was not all of him.  
He didn't want to worry anyone.  
  
Only Touma knew the truth.  
  
It was surreal to him. For he could hear his own voice, but he couldn't really recognize it. Even the super energetic beat would lead someone astray if they didn't pay attention.  
  
Ryuichi let himself become consumed by his own music. It was something he had done to shut out his heart from his whole body.  
  
"You call my name  
I'm sure it's a lie…  
  
You call my name, I stare at you.  
You think I'm as perfect as can be.  
The cute puppet face that I put on everyday  
You call my name  
But I told you a lie.  
  
You call my name, You call my name.  
I break your heart with all I have to sing  
I'm smiling right in front of you  
But that's just a face I put on.  
We make dreams to mask the true fears   
we keep inside, a strength untrue,  
I say 'I'm okay', but that means it's 'no.'  
I can't even understand myself.  
  
You call my name, I stare at you.  
You think I'm as perfect as can be.  
The cute puppet face that I put on everyday  
You call my name  
But I told you a lie.  
  
Inside of you…  
  
Though I walk in darkness, blinded along the way  
I'll grope for anything to hold onto  
I don't want to be given anything  
I want this the hard way.  
Many try to get near me, I push them away easily  
They all want one thing  
And it isn't even you.  
  
You call my name You call my name  
You think I'm as perfect as can be.  
The cute puppet face that I put on everyday  
You call my name  
But I told you a lie.  
  
Inside of me…  
  
We make dreams to mask the true fears   
we keep inside, a strength untrue  
I say 'I'm okay', but that means it's 'no.'  
I can't even understand myself.  
  
You call my name You call my name  
You think I'm as perfect as can be.  
The cute puppet face that I put on everyday  
You call my name  
But I told you a lie.  
  
You call my name, You call my name  
I break your heart with all I have to say  
I'm smiling right in front of you  
But that's just a face I put on.  
  
Inside of me… We make dreams   
Inside of you… to mask the true fears  
Inside of me… we keep inside  
  
We make dreams  
To mask the true fears  
We keep inside."  
  
As the song faded and Ryuichi found himself in a trance, unable to move, but bury his head between his arms in defeat.  
  
There was a knocking on Yuki's hotel door. His heart was feeling uneasy as he turned the knob of the door of his hotel room. He found himself staring at a beautiful geisha before him in deep, deep red.  
  
It was as if Shuichi had just stepped out of the music video on the television.  
  
"Shuichi…" he mumbled as Shuichi's eyebrows almost touched one another in frustration and loss.  
  
Without another word, Yuki let him inside and went into the kitchen to prepare a coffee. But Shuichi sat on the counter with an agenda of his own. Seductively, he crossed his legs and looked at Yuki with a face that wouldn't be anything but honest.  
As Yuki turned the coffee pot on and filled it, he went in front of Shuichi and held his waist. Looking up to Shuichi, he blinked his eyes. Shuichi ran his fingers through Yuki's hair. Then, he stopped as he placed his arms over Yuki's shoulders and whispered into his ear, "Where have you been?"  
His tears began to well up.  
  
Yuki answered with a confused, "On the book fair. Where else, baka?"  
  
"You were so far away from me…" Shuichi whispered into his ear. "So far away…"  
  
Shuichi caressed Yuki's cheeks as he closed his eyes to kiss his lips. His legs began to unwind and wrap around one of Yuki's as he felt Yuki become hotter with his touch. Yuki began to undo Shuichi's obi unable to contain himself.  
  
At this, Yuki's heart finally fell.  
Shuichi's desparate touch felt so cold towards him despite his warm gestures.  
  
They had switched places now…  
  
Shuichi was not a child anymore…  
He was acting like he knew something about the forbidden fruit of knowledge…  
Yuki knew Shuichi was slipping away…  
…or worse yet, Shuichi wasn't his anymore…  
tsuzuku…/to be continued…  
--  
Author's note: Kind of a weird and short chapter, but too many perspectives. I have to keep things in order.  
Sorry about the month hiatus. It wasn't by choice, I assure you. I was doing all my homework a month in advance so that I could do all the other stuff I always wanted to do before graduation, like going to Koreatown! (And that means I'll have to go get my May Asuka too!) Then again, this fic has been confusing me because I honestly can't decide if I want it to be a YukixShu or HiroxShu fic. WAH~! So hard…  
  
Telling you now, this could be as long as 'Aching Desire'. ^^;;; I hope not to make it that long. ^^;;; I might scare you guys if I made it too long, ne?  
But as you know, I hate rushing and giving a sucky ending. ;_; Then the fic goes to waste. I don't want that to happen.  
Please be patient with me!  
  
And thanks Emily-chan. I didn't forget this fic. I was just stuck. ^^;;; 


	9. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own Gravi. Hikari is Utada's, but the song lyrics inside the fic are mine.  
  
Wrapped around your finger  
  
By miyamoto yui  
  
/Ashita no koto  
  
terebi keshite   
  
watashi no koto dake wo  
  
mite ite yo/  
  
Chapter 8 – Looking me looking at you.  
  
Knock, knock.  
  
Knock, knock, knock, knock.  
  
I just sat there on the ground sighing as I looked up to find that the pounding in my head was becoming in sync to the knocking of the studio door. As I got up hesitantly, I glanced at my watch to find that it was almost 11:30 at night.   
  
"Who would be here? The janitor?" I asked myself with a skeptical look on my face as I opened the door to find someone blinking back at me. "Wouldn't he have the key…?"  
  
The boy blinked at me some more and lifted up his hand. With a confused face, he said, "I was sent here by Touma-san to talk to someone."  
  
The eyes of the boy's looked at me from head to foot and he smiled with uncertainty, "And I think that's you."  
  
"Excuse me?" My eyebrows lifted themselves immediately as I kept the entrance blocked, as if I didn't want him to come in.  
  
In a way, maybe I didn't.  
  
Leave it to Touma though to give me a boy in the middle of the night.  
  
He must be really sick…  
  
Then again, I shouldn't question that since he had this weird tendency to make love on his office table before a meeting would begin…  
  
"Come in?" I shook my head as I just let the boy come in while getting out of his way.  
  
He just sat on the couch to one side as I sat opposite of him.   
  
For some reason, he reminded me of someone…  
  
"Have we met before?" I blurted out before I could take back my words.  
  
The boy just shook his head. "Of course you wouldn't remember me, wouldn't you?"  
  
At that moment, he said, "Sakuma-san, I'm not feeling too well…"  
  
I stared back at him.  
  
* blink, blink *  
  
"Figures," he said with a sigh. Then, he shrugged his shoulders.  
  
He reached out his hand, patted my shoulder, and immediately took it away while glancing at it for a split-second. Then, he stared at me seriously. "Sakuma-san, I'm not here because I'm your fan, but because Touma-san said that someone here needed to clear his mind. I just didn't expect that it would be…you…"  
  
The 'you' was said with a pause.  
  
I just continued to look at him, but I thought he was adorable…  
  
"Why me?" I asked as I pointed him, "And why are _you_ doing this?"  
  
"I'm a monk," he answered me with a deadpan expression to match his voice.   
  
I looked at him and he held onto his clothes to justify himself. "So, I'm not wearing the attire, but I've been trained since I was little to do this. Please don't give me that kind of look."  
  
"Sorry," I apologized as I leaned forward with my hands folded.  
  
"Why _am_ I here for you?" he asked me while his eyes shined back at me with a confused look. "I just came from Kyoto because a friend asked me to."  
  
He continued, "You really don't know who I am, do you?"  
  
Shaking my head, I felt bad for the boy and mad at myself for forgetting.  
  
"My name is Uesugi Tatsuha." He smiled at me with his eyes half-closed. Then he bowed his head while avoiding my gaze. "I was the one who told you years ago that I was one of your biggest fans. You mistook me for Shuichi, my brother's lover."  
  
It was then that I remembered, "And I spent the day with you at the zoo!"  
  
At that moment, he calmly smiled and shook his head. "Yes, that was me."  
  
From the looks of it he looked kind of worn out. After all, I'd only seen him two years ago.  
  
It was my turn to put my head down while he lifted his head to look at me. "I'm sorry. I forgot…"  
  
That's how things went for me.  
  
Trying so hard to live day by day…  
  
My loneliness was eating me alive and I didn't want to think too much about stuff, let alone for too long. It would really make me go insane inside of myself.  
  
"That's not your fault," he honestly answered as he gave me a stern look. "And what am I here for?"  
  
"I don't need someone to talk to," I said back defensively as his eyes pierced right through me with their clarity.  
  
"It doesn't seem that way if I'm talked into coming all the way here from Kyoto," Tatsuha answered with his arms folded as he leaned back on the couch. "I'm not here to judge you or be your psychiatrist. I'm just here to listen to what you have to say."  
  
I gulped as I got up and found myself walking over to the cassette player.  
  
"I don't mean to go off topic…" I said as I took out the tape inside it and placed a new one into it. "But can I sing to you?"  
  
He coughed all of a sudden as he pounded on his chest. "S-sing? T-to me?"  
  
I nodded my head like a little kid. "Uh-huh."  
  
"Whatever you want, Sakuma-san…" he mumbled as he sat there waiting for me to sing.  
  
I pressed play as another song played on the sound system. It was the one to complement Shuichi's new single because we were going to each release a single…  
  
I lifted up my hand and then I brought it down as I grabbed a pen as carefully as if I had been using a real mic. I then sang,   
  
"[whisper]   
  
The sound you are hearing  
  
Is the pulse of my heart  
  
Broken beyond recognition.  
  
[sing]  
  
I keep on waiting for you to come to me  
  
In the middle of the night, I wander  
  
Like a vampire looking for his prey  
  
I need blood to keep me alive  
  
(Because I love you)  
  
We become entangled in our own demise  
  
It becomes something convoluted  
  
I want to make love to you  
  
But you belong to someone else.  
  
I just can't stop this feeling deep inside  
  
You're driving me insane  
  
I want to kiss you so hard  
  
Until you cannot breathe.  
  
'Til you can't see anything else  
  
(I'll take your eyes.)  
  
'Til you see only me  
  
(I'll poison your mind.)  
  
My heart is crumbling  
  
(Can't take it anymore)  
  
A dangerous obsession that can't be seen.  
  
[whisper]  
  
If you knew what my love truly was  
  
I'd take your lips and you wouldn't talk  
  
I'd be so close to you  
  
You'd feel the beating of my broken heart  
  
[sing]  
  
But that can never be  
  
The distance is too great  
  
I'll never reach you.  
  
'Til you can't see anything else  
  
(If I kept wandering.)  
  
'Til you see only me  
  
(If I kept singing.)  
  
My heart is crumbling  
  
(You'll forget about me.)  
  
I'm finding myself in the same vicious cycle.  
  
'Til you can't see anything else  
  
(You're tearing me apart.)  
  
'Til you see only me  
  
(How can you make me live with you?)  
  
My heart is crumbling  
  
(How can you make me live without you?)  
  
Why do I want to love you badly when it's useless?  
  
[instrumental]  
  
And like a fool, I'll go  
  
Searching endlessly  
  
For you…  
  
…even if you're just right there.  
  
Who are you?  
  
'Til you can't see anything else  
  
(I'll take your eyes.)  
  
'Til you see only me  
  
(I'll poison your mind.)  
  
My heart is crumbling  
  
(Can't take it anymore)  
  
A dangerous obsession that can't be seen.  
  
'Til you can't see anything else  
  
(If I kept wandering.)  
  
'Til you see only me  
  
(If I kept singing.)  
  
My heart is crumbling  
  
(You'll forget about me.)  
  
I'm finding myself in the same vicious cycle.  
  
'Til you can't see anything else  
  
(You're tearing me apart.)  
  
'Til you see only me  
  
(How can you make me live with you?)  
  
My heart is crumbling  
  
(How can you make me live without you?)  
  
Why do I want to love you badly when it's useless?  
  
'Til you can't see anything else  
  
'Til you see only me  
  
My heart is crumbling  
  
'Til you can't see anything else  
  
'Til you see only me   
  
My heart is crumbling  
  
Just one more night."  
  
As I looked at him, I felt like a burden had temporarily left me while I had been possessed a demon by the song. But, it was my own song with my own polluted mind...  
  
But when I opened my eyes to find Tatsuha there with his mouth half open, I wondered if I was always too honest for my own good. My words always cut me and I felt I smeared blood all over the music sheets whenever I wrote lyrics.  
  
Touma used to think so also, along with Nuriko.  
  
People thought it was cool.  
  
I was just telling the simple truth.  
  
"Thank you…" Tatsuha finally mumbled out as he gave me a contemplative look. Without hesitation, he asked, "…but who were you really singing to, Sakuma-san?"  
  
"I…" I caught myself looking at him intensely, having realized what I had done.  
  
Shuichi…  
  
I was thinking of Shuichi…  
  
Damn it all…  
  
"To someone who belongs to someone else," I found myself saying to Tatsuha as he waited for me to answer.  
  
He smiled with melancholy as he answered, "Ah."  
  
In a shy voice, with a whisper as if to himself, he asked, "Isn't that how it always is?"  
  
His eyes found themselves on mine again as he tilted his head. "Whether it's another person or something someone else loves extremely…there's always some kind of competition. You just can win when it comes to life or love."  
  
"Why do you say that?" I asked him as I let the demo tape continue to play while coming over to sit across him.  
  
"The fact that I can sit here listening to you, keep my calm, and not show any emotion when you say you want to sing for me, but it's for someone else." He then got up and looked away. "I'm sorry for being rude."  
  
Then he shook his head. "Maybe you're not the one who needs advice…"  
  
Bowing his head, he turned around to leave, but I caught his hand.  
  
"Sakuma-san?" His eyebrows touched one another while he looked back at me.  
  
I didn't understand it myself when I just reached out to him. Even if it was my selfishness for not wanting to be alone.  
  
Especially not today. Not after singing that song.  
  
"Why do you listen to my music?" I asked him as I stood up to look at him. Letting go of his hand, I pulled on his collar. "Why do people listen to my music?"  
  
"Because it's real," he told me.  
  
Without fear and much confidence, he looked at me without blinking. He was that sure of this answer.  
  
"I'm just an actor. I play a part when I'm on stage," I said to him. "I sing because I love it, but don't people get tired of angst?"  
  
He shook his head. "It's nice to know someone knows it's there, without overusing it or abusing it."  
  
At that moment, I let go of his collar.  
  
"How old are you, Tatsuha-kun?" I suddenly inquired as I found myself unable to look away from his beautiful eyes.  
  
"How old do you think I am?" he asked as his eyes became half open and he leaned forward to kiss me on the lips.  
  
My head lightly tapped on the glass window behind me as I found myself returning his warm kiss.  
  
"Do you belong to anyone, Tatsuha-kun?" I asked breathlessly whispered to his ear.  
  
"That would depend on you," he answered me back with those determined eyes.  
  
Tsuzuku… / To be continued…  
  
--  
  
author's note: Well, here's the next part for you, Winnie. Things seem to be going a bit too fast, but hey, I need to pick up the pace anyway…and why not with one of my favorite couples?  
  
I am sorry for the overuse of songs, but I cannot help it. My life is surrounded by music and it's a way of life for me even though I'm not that good with it. I believe poetry/song lyric writing helps me a lot to say what I need to.  
  
I've fallen in love with Predilection all over again…  
  
Translation:  
  
/Ashita no koto  
  
terebi keshite   
  
watashi no koto dake wo  
  
mite ite yo/  
  
/Of tomorrow's things  
  
Turn off the tv and   
  
[Try] looking only at me!/ 


	10. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Yui doesn't own Gravitation. The poem is mine.  
  
/Sakura are between   
  
red and white,  
  
watching you just as closely,  
  
I can't breathe.  
  
So beautiful alone,  
  
Yet I know you'll kill me  
  
With your bloody honesty./  
  
Wrapped around your finger  
  
By miyamoto yui  
  
Chapter 9 – the man who had everything.  
  
"That depends on you," he seductively answered while his blood boiled and was trying his hardest not to become more in love with his idol.  
  
Ryuichi started to kiss him, but then Tatsuha pulled away. He looked at Ryuichi and breathed heavily because he was out of breath.  
  
"I…I'm sorry," Tatsuha had said as he turned around embarrassed while heading straight for the door.  
  
"I'm the one who should be apologizing," Ryuichi said as he patted Tatsuha's cheek. "I'm…old."  
  
Tatsuha shook his head. "Never!" His fanboy impulse shouted back at Ryuichi.  
  
Ryuichi laughed in response, thinking it was cute.  
  
As Tatsuha left, he turned back as he smiled regretfully, "I'm eighteen."  
  
Then, he laughed, but Ryuichi took his hand. "Can you stay with me for a bit?"  
  
Tatsuha's eyes widened a little as he looked into the eyes of his perfect idol singer who looked so desparate to keep him there.  
  
This made Tatsuha smile. Not because Ryuichi wanted company, but that Ryuichi didn't even know how diehard he was about him. If Ryuichi had asked him to jump off Rainbow Bridge, he was blind enough to do it because he was so in love with him.  
  
He was just putting up a front for him because he was a little disappointed that Ryuichi had forgotten him and that he was thinking of someone else. While they were kissing, Tatsuha could feel that Ryuichi was thinking about someone else while he had kissed him with all the admiration he had given ever since he had become a fan of his.  
  
But for the moment, Tatsuha could look past this.  
  
Ryuichi needed him, that's why.  
  
Smiling, he said, "Why don't we take a walk?"  
  
"All right."  
  
They walked around Tokyo, but as they went up to one toy store, Ryuichi went up to the window like a little kid.   
  
"I find it funny that you don't have Kumogorou-san with you."  
  
He shook his head. "He's mad at me right now."  
  
"Why?" Tatsuha watched Ryuichi curiously.  
  
"I did something terribly wrong, that's why."  
  
"What did you do that even Kumogorou-san would be mad at you?"  
  
Ryuichi pointed at a toy in the window and Tatsuha saw that it was a clock tower with a prince and princess dancing.  
  
Tatsuha couldn't comprehend what was the connection until Ryuichi said, "Do you believe that there's one person out there for you?"  
  
Taken aback, Tatsuha looked from side to side. He didn't expect such a question or such a serious face from Ryuichi. He thought of it for a bit and then replied, "Yes. I'm just stupid like that."  
  
"I don't think it's stupid…" Ryuichi wouldn't look at him though. He pointed at the two figures dancing figures. "Like them?"  
  
They both looked at the prince and princess.  
  
Believing in this, Tatsuha nodded. "I would certainly hope so. The red thread of fate and all that have some kind of basis, don't you think?"  
  
With a cute pout, Ryuichi asked Tatsuha as if Tatsuha had any say about it, "What if I took that princess?"  
  
"Some people don't know they may be destined to be with another person." Thinking it was kind of cute, he laughed. Tatsuha said as he just continued to look at Ryuichi, who was staring at the display before him. "But other than that, you shouldn't take the princess, Sakuma-san."  
  
"I want that princess," he insisted while his hand was forming into a fist.  
  
Tatsuha could tell that Ryuichi was far away from him, still thinking of that other person. Whoever that was, a small part of him was hurting. The rest of him was jealous even though he was trying not to show any of this.  
  
Shaking his head, Ryuichi began to walk again with Tatsuha beside him. Looking up to the stars, he sighed as he asked aloud, "Tatsuha-kun?"  
  
"Yes?"   
  
"Can I ask you about something?"  
  
"Anything." Tatsuha answered with a smile. It wasn't a lie, right?  
  
"I have everything I've ever wanted from life…" Then, he glanced at Tatsuha while blinking as if he were about to cry. "…but why can't I find a person who will stay with me to share it with?"  
  
Tatsuha just stood in his place without anything to say. _He_ certainly didn't know what the hell he should have done or how to answer this situation at all.  
  
"How can I answer you?" he thought to himself as his chest was aching a bit in small spurts that became larger as the seconds passed. "How _do_ I answer you when you're looking at me that way?"  
  
Ryuichi was looking at him intently, searching for answer. For anything at that moment. He felt the darkness was enveloping him.  
  
It was the familiar loneliness that came like the gravity of the moon pulling on the waves of the Earth whenever it came out, making them out of control. This had been one of those awful nights. The ones where he felt so alone that he'd end up staying up in bed because he wanted someone to just hug him.  
  
Telling him that it was all right. Someone who would take care of him.  
  
He wanted it so much it was going to drive him crazy.  
  
  
  
As the lights of the cars from the street came and passed over their clothing, Tatsuha looked at him. Finally, he answered Ryuichi with much confidence, "You will."  
  
Smiling at him and looking him in the eye, he continued. "You're Sakuma Ryuichi-san. How can anyone _not_ love you?"  
  
Chuckling to himself, Tatsuha couldn't understand how could Ryuichi think of himself this way. "Geez, _I'd_ be upset at the person who didn't."  
  
Then, he cleared his throat as he blushed a bit. He knew he had said too much.  
  
With an amused face, Ryuichi had totally unexpected this answer. He tried to think it was the possibility that he had answered that way just to comfort him because he was a big fan of his.  
  
But from the gentle way Tatsuha looked at him, he could tell it wasn't. Those were the eyes of someone who more than adored him. They were too honest.  
  
  
  
"That's the problem," Ryuichi replied while shaking his head and running his hand through his hair nervously. "People think that. Friends, family…everyone around me. But it's not true. I've been burned before and I…"  
  
He lost his train of thought as he watched Tatsuha giving him his complete attention. Looking at him as if he were registering his every word like wine.  
  
Sweet wine that he wanted to drink and enjoy while it was still there.  
  
And Ryuichi wanted to look away for a moment, because Tatsuha's eyes were so intensely strong. Stronger than even his when he sang on stage.  
  
He wanted to turn away because he couldn't breathe from their depth.  
  
"I'm scared of falling for someone again," he finally finished, but he couldn't keep his eyes away from Tatsuha's.  
  
Walking up to him and closing his eyes, impulsively, he kissed Tatsuha on the forehead. "Thank you, Tatsuha-kun. I think I've gotten a little bit of my confidence back."  
  
Tatsuha, feeling the warmth of his kiss, closed his eyes for a moment to absorb Ryuichi's touch. One that was sincerely only for him…  
  
He was looking at Ryuichi so intensely because he couldn't say, "Me…I want to be that person for you, Ryuichi…"  
  
  
  
At that moment, Ryuichi, tilted his head and smiled at him. Knowing exactly what he was doing, Ryuichi, as if in slow motion, took Tatsuha's hand playfully while Tatsuha gawked at him for a moment.  
  
"I'm stealing you." Ryuichi playfully teased while winking at him. "And I don't care what you'll say."  
  
"Excuse me?" Tatsuha opened his eyes for a bit in surprise, feeling the heat reach his face. Thinking that he must have been dreaming and if Ryuichi got any cuter than he could take, he would have an extra hard time trying to deny the fanboy impulses that he already was resisting.  
  
Ryuichi tickled his ear and nibbled on it as if he were Kumogorou. Seriously, he whispered, "Today, you belong to me."  
  
  
  
  
  
Tsuzuku…  
  
--  
  
Author's note: Okay, I'll just have to face the damn fact that this will be super long. ;_; I don't like rushing and if I put two things that shouldn't be together, then the most important thing will look like it only happened in the end.  
  
This, I will guarantee now, will be a novel. I've been thinking about this for about more than half a year. I've been trying to strategize this as best as I can. Usually, I stick with a particular pairing and a first person perspective, but not now. It's a mix of everything from stream of consciousness, first and third person omniscient, and all the possible pairings I can think of.  
  
Please, please be patient with me as I will try my best to make a good fic that is understandable, warm, sexy, wacky…well, all the things I love about Gravi, depressing as it may be. (I hope to God it will be! I'm trying my best!) I thank you so far for being truly good to me.  
  
I've been having an attack of major low confidence issues with writing and just watching Gravi and hearing from you makes me feel waffy. I know I'm not good with details or with setting up a scene, but I hope at least the emotion or what I'm trying to say comes out and touches you.  
  
Warning: be in for a ride, and I hope it will be a fun one. 


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